We were crying
and we were screaming - our driver looked back at two American
women falling over themselves half in tears, and half in laughter
and asked our tour guide in Arabic, "Are these girls ok?" Tawfiq spoke English well, but not well enough to understand the conversation
that had just sent us into a fit. You see, our tour guide
had just casually mentioned that her mother in law was once
a famous belly dancer, maybe we'd heard of her? Nadia
Hamdi? Thud. Yeah, we'd heard a thing or two.
Let me back
up a bit here and explain. My friend Nefertiti and I
were on a two week trip to Egypt, one that we had put together
ourselves. Two determined belly dancers in Egypt. We
planned to sightsee the first week, and attend the Nile Group
June 2008 festival on the second week. And naturally,
we would take over Cairo at the same time.
We had hired
a highly regarded tour guide and she and her driver would take
us all over Cairo. Nefertiti and I immediately felt a
very strong bond with her - she became an immediate friend. I
think our guide felt the same way towards us, because she had
a shy, almost sly smile, as she mentioned her mother-in-law
when we discussed belly dancers who we'd like to see on this,
the second day of our trip.
Maybe I flatter
myself, but I had a feeling that she didn't mention Nadia's
name to every
tourist group.
After our
screaming and tears were over, we eagerly replied that of course
we had heard of Nadia! And of course we would love to
meet her if there was ever an opportunity (as we winked to
each other). That was it; we were determined to meet
Nadia here in Cairo before our two week trip was over. We
assured Tawfiq that we were not crazy, and off our little tour
car went navigating notorious Cairo traffic while our imaginations
raced with thoughts of Nadia.
That
evening at dinner, I caught up Nefertiti on as much as
I knew about
Nadia. Nadia Hamdi had been an amazing dancer in Egypt
with a long career that started out as a dancer from an established
Mohammed Ali Street family and led to performances at top hotels,
films, and workshop tours across the United States and Europe. She
started to build momentum as one of the best belly dancers
of our time, only to suddenly give up teaching completely
in the late 1990’s (she had already given up public performances
in Egypt earlier that decade.)
From my understanding,
Nadia had given up dancing and then teaching abroad because
her son or husband had forced her to do so. From the
late 1990’s on, it was as if she had disappeared. Where was
Nadia and what had she been doing for the past 10 years?
The next
day, we asked our guide, Nibal, if we could ask her questions
about Nadia, and she agreed. We found out that Nadia
lived with Nibal and her only child Mohammed in the Moqattam
Hills, in a two bedroom flat that they shared with their three
sons, all under the age of seven. Mohammed is very busy
as an IT manager and Nibal's tour business was booming due
to her references, and Nadia stays at home to watch the boys
and care for the house. Nibal discussed how her husband
asked Nadia every evening if she needed anything and if she
was happy, and spoke of their close relationship. Nibal
also seemed close with Nadia and frequently called her “mother”
in our conversations.
We excitedly
asked if Nadia would give us a private lesson or dance with
us. “No, Nadia does not dance at all anymore, and asking
her to do so would make her uncomfortable,” said Nibal. Wait,
Nadia does not dance anymore? Not even at home? “No, she
does not dance at home or in public and does not give lessons
anymore.”
In
fact, Nibal had never seen her dance. “Not
even at our wedding,” said Nibal.
Nadia Hamdi performs with shamadan 1995,
Aswan Dancers, Gilded Serpent
Presented by Gilded Serpent, courtesy of Amina Goodyear
and the Aswan Dancers, an excerpt of Nadia’s dance with
the Shamadan performed in San Francisco, CA in 1995 www.aswandancers.org/videos.htm
With some
nervousness, we asked if Nadia was happy. To us, how
could she not be happy if she wasn't dancing? Nibal replied
that her family and her sons were Nadia's life, and that she
was very happy. Nibal mentioned how Nadia had to work
very hard from a very young age, and now she could be a mother
and grandmother and not have to work so hard anymore. Nadia
had told her that her dancing life was over and that she was
very happy in her new life. Skeptically, we agreed.
Nibal added
that Nadia had no interest in dancing, but that she was still
very interested in dancers. She was always curious to
see if anyone still remembered her and if they had liked her
dancing. Still remembered her? Nefertiti and I
tried to explain how much she was remembered and revered, how
much she was missed and how many people lamented that she had
left the scene. We told Nibal to please tell Nadia that
she was remembered with much love by many people, that she
had an impact on dancers she had met and even ones who had
never seen her dance, like us.
We
asked if they had any videos, photos, or costumes from
Nadia's life
as a dancer, but they had none. When Nadia took the hijab
and gave up dancing, she destroyed all photos and videos of
herself since that life was over. She had also sold all
her costumes and props. Everything is gone, but Nibal
told us as an aside that she and Mohammed still keep a
few photos of Nadia as a dancer on the family computer.
Nadia doesn’t
know they are there.
Before the
day was over, Nibal invited us to have dinner with her family
sometime during our trip. Then we would get to meet Mohammed,
the boys, and of course Nadia! We promised that we would
definitely have dinner (after just a perfunctory pause and
a weak protest to save face and not look too eager). We secretly
started to count down the days till we got to meet Nadia. Would
she really be happy, as Nibal had assured us? Would she
be happy to meet us, or would we be painful reminders of past
memories?
Author, Nibal? and Nefertiti?
Impatiently
Nefertiti and I grew worried as our trip progressed and there
was no word of dinner with our new Egyptian friends. We
had finished our sightseeing with Nibal and the Nile Group
festival began. We became busy with classes, new friends,
and shows at night. I fretted and spoke with Nibal on
my mobile - she was very busy, but soon, soon, she promised
- "I did not forget you, Batta, and we will have dinner
before you go, I promise." Finally, she called near
the end of our trip, “Would tomorrow night work?” Of
course it would work, time was running out. The day of
our dinner, plans kept changing and being pushed back - I began
to worry that we had burdened our hosts too much. Finally,
the time came and their sedan pulled up in front of our hotel. We
were on the curb, waiting with flowers, and I couldn't help
but feel a bit nervous.
Mohammed
and Nibal greeted us with hugs and handshakes, and we
peered into the car to see three shy and sweet little boys
surrounding their gram, Nadia Hamdi! We climbed into
the sedan and we leaned over to kiss her and we told her how
honored we were to meet her, and we thanked Nibal and Mohammed
for our evening together. Nadia's smile and kind eyes
lit up her entire face and she said she was happy to meet us
too. Mohammed drove for some time, as they were taking
us out to dinner and they were taking us to a special surprise
place.
The drive
was well spent - we had so much fun talking with Nadia, Nibal
and Mohammed as the boys either dozed or slipped shy glances
our way. We laughed with them about Cairo traffic, we
complimented them on their English and remarked that Nadia,
also, remembered her English very well. We told them
funny stories about our adventures since we had left Nibal
and we described the festival to Nadia. She was very interested
in who was dancing in the shows and who the instructors were. We
told her of many dancers who knew who she was, and that we
still watched videos of her and that she was remembered and
missed by everyone she had met, and by many others who she
had never met personally. I knew our flattery meant a
lot to her. Seeing her smile as she listened to us and looked
out the window, I felt that she could leave dancing behind
as long as she knew her lessons and her memory were still alive.
Dinner was
a surprise! It was a chain Western restaurant in Heliopolis.
It was very nice, had a jungle theme that the kids would enjoy,
and had great food - even better, it had great Western food!
Mohammed and Nibal had graciously thought that we would probably
be missing American food so late in our trip. The
food was a little bit of home and it felt good to be around
a family with lots of talk, laughter, and little ones running
here and there.
As we ate
dinner, I kept catching Nadia's eye, and we would quickly blush
and look away. Nefertiti sat between us, and I kept asking
her to lean back to get a better view of Nadia - I wanted to
stare at her, as if I could learn through osmosis, trying to
remember everything to tell my friends back home. I asked
Nibal to tell Nadia that I apologized for staring at her; that
I did not want to make her uncomfortable, but that I was so
excited to meet her. Nadia smiled, assured me it was
ok and cheerfully stared back.
We
hesitated to ask her about her past - I wanted to hear
about her family,
about Mohammed Ali street, about how dancing had made her
feel. I
desperately wanted to ask her why she stopped dancing completely
and if she was happy.
But, I didn't
want to upset her or offend her or our hosts. They were taking us to a
very fancy dinner and I cringed inwardly to think how expensive
it was and how they were driving all over Cairo for us. I
didn't want them to think that I didn't appreciate this wonderful
night. I didn't know if she'd want to talk about any
of this, and I didn't want to see that beautiful smile vanish
from her face. Nadia was quiet, patient, and sweet during
dinner. There was no other way to describe it - she emanated
a feeling of happiness and goodness.
We laughed
and hugged Nadia throughout dinner, and gave her kisses on
her cheek. She laughed with us and was genuinely curious
about our lives. She liked hearing about Nefertiti's
children, and promised to pray for me that I might have children
soon. She told us how her grandsons were her whole life
and that she was very happy.
A
few times she referred to dancing as her old life,
but there seemed to be no regret
or sadness. Nadia seemed to have a loving and normal
family.
Dinner ended
much too soon, and we couldn't stop thanking Nibal and Mohammed
for this night and for their thoughtfulness. We kept thanking
Nadia too; she must have felt very spoiled from all the praise
and good wishes we were heaping on her. We stopped on
our way out of the restaurant to take photos with her and her
family and we joked with her that we were posing with her like
we posed at the Pyramids and other tourist sites. Still,
the silent question of her not dancing hung heavy in the air
and our evening was over.
As we walked
to the car, finally I had my chance. Mohammed and Nibal
were ahead with Nefertiti and the boys, and I hung back for
just a fraction of a second with Nadia. I felt us both
hesitate, as if she knew what was on my mind. The car
was not far in front of us and we only had a few seconds to
ourselves. We looked at each other, and I knew the moment
had arrived.
“Are
you happy?” I asked her, and
she knew what I meant. I was asking her if she was happy
not dancing. With no hesitation and that beautiful smile,
she said "Yes! I am very happy." I asked
her if she missed dancing. She said, "No, that was
my old life. I am happy in my new life."
Then, unsolicited,
she told me that she had made Hajj, she had gone to Mecca,
and that after she had returned, and had taken up the veil. After
that, she said, "I could no longer dance, it would not
have been right for strangers to see my stomach and my legs
uncovered. It would have been wrong to keep dancing." She
assured me again that she was happy, and that she was happy
that she was remembered, and we squeezed hands. I didn’t
realize that we were holding hands till that second. One
more look between us, and we were at the car and the boys were
clamoring for Gram and we loaded ourselves in and took off
for our hotel in Zamalek.
Much too
quickly, we arrived back at our hotel. We kissed Nadia one
more time and kissed Nibal and Mohammed, and we promised to
remember their family and pass along their greetings to all
of Nadia’s friends in America.
Often, I
have heard the story of the amazing Nadia Hamdi, the wonderful
dancer who was forced to quit dancing by her family. I'm
not sure what the real truth is in that story. There is the
saying that there are three sides to any story – your side,
my side, and what really happened. With Nadia’s story, there
are more facets – the Western perspective towards dance and
our bewilderment on how one could give up something they loved,
and the Eastern perspective of dance as an inappropriate activity,
one that can even incite threats and violence towards dancers
and their families.
The stories
of Mohammed being harassed by fellow students at university
as the “son of a dancer have been reported previously by Margo
Abdo O’Dell and Morocco. Nadia’s son asked her to stop performing publicly
because of pressure from those around him. It is easy to view
his request in a negative light but I feel that he was a young
man who hoped to marry and make a good life for himself and
his family, and take care of his mother.
If
he couldn't complete his studies or if the prejudice of
his fellow students
spilled over to professors and potential employers, he
would never have been able to provide for her. If
Mohammed asked her to stop dancing, I feel that he did
so not as a cruel
man but as a son who must have worried about his future
and the future of his family in an increasingly conservative
society.
So where
has Nadia been for the past 10 years and why is she no longer
dancing? I have no definitive answers. Perhaps she bowed
under pressure from a conservative society, perhaps she gave
up dancing from family concerns, or perhaps, as she herself
said, for religious reasons. Maybe it was all these reasons
or maybe none of them – maybe it was her time to rest and be
a grandmother. Regardless, speculation is only so useful,
as her new life will never intersect with her old life.
However,
I can bring back a message from Cairo that is clear – Nadia
and her lovely family are doing very well and they are very
happy. Nadia is as beautiful, kind, and sweet as ever, and
she dearly enjoys being remembered.
Ready
for more? 12-1-08 Ask
Yasmina: Evolution, Oum Kalthoum, & Cover ups by Yasmina
Ramzy A
first column in a once-a-month series: GS is proud to present
this passionate and knowledgeable expert in the field of Middle
Eastern Dance; she is an artist, pioneer, and creator of the
International Bellydance Conference of Canada.
11-20-08 Winning
Bellydancer of the Universe by Mia Puerto
Rico is kind of a small island, not that we’re cut off
from the world or anything, but we don’t have huge hafflas
or competitions here. In fact, after about two years of classes
and training we have to travel outside our country to keep up
with the whirlwind of innovation that is bellydance.
11-17-08 So
You Want to Dance in Cairo? by Leila Foreign
dancers who negotiate their own auditions with hotel managers
usually find themselves seated at his private table in the nightclub
month after month while he promises that next week he will make
her an orchestra and give her an audition.
11-11-08 Omar
Faruk Tekbilek demonstrates the Ney video by Lynette
Also incuded are short performance clips of Omar with the instruments and band
members as well as his wife, Susie, performing a few Turkish style dance gestures
11-7-08 Gift
of the Muse: Finding and Using “Dance Energy” by
Najia Marlyz The
concept of “Dance Energy”carries with it a power
that appears to compel the dancer to move without conscious thought
or excessive effort.